Matt 1:18, "Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit."

Note that they did not come together before the wedding day. In the Greek it does not only imply that they did not have any sexual contact.
Some define sexual purity such that anything that's meant for marriage is permissible short of actual sex. So they think that they remain pure, whereas they come together, flirt together and do everything else meant for marriage except sleeping together. Such do not enter marriage in purity and are pagans before God, even if they wear Western clothing. In the sight of the Lord, even an impure thought is as a deed.

However Joseph and Mary entered marriage in purity. They did not visit each other; they were not found in each other's company and they "did not come together" before marriage. Neither did they have that girlfriend boyfriend relationship which is a Western idea, like "girlfriend-boyfriend". Neither did they come together for secret intimate talks.

They kept themselves pure till the day of marriage.

Paul writes in 2Cor 11, "For I am jealous over you with Godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."

The bride wears a pure snow white garment and a veil. The snow white gown and the veil of purity means that she has not been touched by a man - she is a pure virgin in the truest sense of the word.

Today's marriages, where they have relationships before the wedding, looks very pretty on the outside but is full of bones inside, like a grave.

This purity refers to even how we live before God. Before God a thought is a deed. You are what you think; what comes from the depths within you.

I remember how a certain Christian wife continually asked me to pray for her unsaved husband. However her husband simply would not get saved and did not want to have anything to do with the Gospel. One day I felt that I should go and visit them. On arrival the man welcomed me warmly into the house, but when he called his wife to come and see who was visiting us, she scolded him loudly saying, "Can't you see that I'm busy?". After her husband urged her a few times to come she eventually walked from the kitchen to the lounge where we were. She was shocked to see me and changed her tone immediately. When I saw her again told her that she had to repent first before her husband could come to repentance (and that I would stop praying for him and rather pray for her to come to genuine repentance). She had the name that she was a Christian, but she did not live accordingly. She repented and shortly after that her husband also came to the Lord and we were the best of friends.

Spouses, if you complain about your terrible partner, first look at your own life.

Even if you have lived in sin, if you come to the Cross Christ will make you a brand new person and revolutionise your life.

This is what the Lord expects of you. He wants you to be pure and holy.

Some might ask, "if I do not go out and have a relationship then how will I get married?" They argue that if you go to the shop you first inspect the product before buying it. However, if you're dating each other you will only see the good side of that person (whereas, God sees the heart). You will only truly learn to know the other person once you are married. It is well known that there is nobody as deceitful as a man wooing a girl.

The Zulus have the tradition of paying a dowry to the bride's family. Some are not only impure but have aborted a number of babies before getting married. Unless you repent of that sin of murdering your own child you will not enter heaven.

We should strive for the most excellent way. There should be nothing of "coming together", touching and flirting with each other in our lives.

Wedding photos of Mfiki and Octavia
(for Westerners, keep in mind that the Zulu way of rejoicing is in ululation and dance. Many traditional Zulus who were from the bridal couple's area, were dressed in the culural way (see women's head-dress, etc)